Today was the first day of my third nundine living in bregsmourn, so perhaps i should take the opportunity to gather my thoughts and describe what my life has been like so far. Despite my old misgivings about the late baroness auðr cavdottir, rest her soul, what she managed to build here is remarkable given the nomadic natures of both the selunari and barbarians that comprise most of bregsmourn's population. In the past i had often avoided bregsmourn, and valbridge in general, due my personal issues with her, but the people here speak of her even after her permanent death with honour and gratis, as one who would listen to all the wandering people. I feel bad for my assumptions and will have to do what i can to send my apologies and goodwill to her in the afterlife.
It has been actually easy for me to feel comfortable spatially in what is effectively a large and permanent camp, resembling my old tent in the unhindered lands but a hundredfold. What has been less easy to get comfortable with is being around people again. More than once in my first nundine here i was given strange looks or accidentally gave offense to someone, because apparently the manner i was treating the barbarians was suitable for animals but not for sentients. My learning curve has not been as fast as i wished either, so mistakes that have been made have been made multiple times. If it were not for ardos and aunt cyn, i would probably have already absconded back to the unhindered lands to the peace and solitude of its open spaces.
Ardos has his own wheel-less wagon so when i «moved in with him» at first i actually just laid myself to sleep on the grass outside of it. He understood my lack of need for shelter after spending so long in the outlands, but the first time aunt cyn stopped by to check on me she got rather «upset» with me (she is normally such a serene and happy person that the twitch on her face was unmistakable to me) and insisted on at least helping me to acquire a fur tent. Her only concession to the argument was that i would repay her as soon as it was possible for me to do so, and even that «grudgingly».
But back to ardos; he is a shield maiden, in fact the only male shield maiden that the late baroness cavdottir trained (she was herself one such). More often than not i do not see him after breakfast, if indeed he has not already left before then. This is when he actually is in bregsmourn, of course; perhaps half the time i have been here, he has spent the day and sometimes the night in other commitments, so a few mornings i have woken to solitude and know that he is likely training lord general lukas' men at the soldier's fortress. I have had occasion to watch ardos at «work» a few times, as the shield maidens train in a clearing next to the large centrally located longhall that serves as the city's administrative and defensive offices. He is (as i had already had opportunity to note) a talented defender and respected by his peers, participating in their training and meditations throughout the day.
I take great care not to interrupt the shield maidens during their procedures, so typically i leave him to his normal routine and explore on my own most of the day. Even without knowing any of the other citizens of bregsmourn save those who were with us at the springdale mine, to be recognised as selunari is to be welcomed among the familia, and so i have enjoyed an easy if somewhat pleasantly anonymous rapport among both them and the barbarians. My questions are understood for their curiosity and easily answered when the knowledge is known; when it is not, they apologise and i wave it off as unnecessary. Likewise i am asked about my clan, the deórsa, sometimes about their/my relationship to the irani, and my time living out in the further east, and like most selunari i love to tell my stories as much as i love to hear others.
In the middays around bregsmourn i take a small portion of bread and meat with me and head just outside the main camp to a more wild area, where i observe the animals and creatures of valbridge and familiarise them with myself. My time here has been so short that i know they will not be used to me yet for several more nundines, but some of the squirrels and birds already stand some short distance away and examine me while i sit mostly still on the ground, letting them take the measure of this man. In time when i need to contribute to bregsmourn with my craft, i will want to be efficient and useful and i will need to know the behaviours and preferences of these creatures in order to do so. On more than one occasion, however, i have found myself missing leander terribly. It took me nearly a lustre to become so familiar with him that we had a real rapport across our species; i do not know if i have the spiritual strength to forge such a connexion again.
When aunt cyn has been in bregsmourn, only twice in the last two nundines because her other work keeps her busy, she stays in another longhall that has been designated as an inn for visitors. She is a joy to speak with, so much so that i have even journeyed once to the new capital, to the orphanage called forgotten hope, which she founded. Her affection for the little ones is absolutely apparent in the way she interacts with them and fills the role of mother - the way she has also done for the iranis (though ardos corrected me early on that their real parents are still very much alive, thank the stars, but still travelling with their clan caravan).
I did not want to spend much time there on that visit because i did not want to pull her away from her time with the children, but she simply welcomed me in and included me in the events of the afternoon. She has a courtly air about her both in her mannerisms and her ability to handle and discern much at once. In fact several people have called her «m'lady» or «lady cyn», even though she always gently (and somewhat sadly) corrects them to «it's just cyn». Regardless of a person's station or wellbeing she helps those in need, often providing healing magic to poor residents of the capital who know they can come to her for aid, and also providing them with potions or bread or other simple needs that she has the means to provide.
In the evenings i return to the main camp and often sup late in the commons tavern with the other selunari and occasionally barbarians who join us (or one notable night invited me to join them!). Ardos is there, again about half the time, though even half of that he is often much later because he has gone to work in a mine at a town next over, exercising his other expertise with gems and minerals. As a community we share drinks and dinner, storytelling, raucous laughter and the occasional bar brawl.
It is a louder and much more active lifestyle than in the unhindered lands, but i confess it fills a hole and an ache in my heart that i did not know was there. It's true that my years of hermitage have been very beneficial to my spirit and have helped me develop my creature taming craft, but after all that solitude i guess i didn't realise that i was craving companionship and family once again. I'm not saying i feel totally at home here yet, but it is definitely a start, and something i can look forward to claiming as a place i belong.
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